Wednesday, September 28, 2005

This is some funny crap.

Disclaimer: This article was written as a joke. I do not condone or even appreciate anorexia. I'm pretty sure the author doesn't either. Nor do I condone the obviously patriarchal, chauvanistic sentiments of the article, obviously written in jest.

And now that we've seen how unfunny disclaimers can be...From The Onion:

Avoiding eating in order to improve your appearance is part of being a woman, and it's natural for a woman to devote all of her time to achieving a figure pleasing to the male eye. While there are many ways to get hot, one of the simplest, fastest, and most effective is through self-starvation. However, anorexia, like all things, is best used in moderation. For example, you should never get so thin that you lose your tits.

I've seen it time and time again: A woman of "normal" weight buys a scale, tapes pictures from W magazine to her refrigerator, draws a weight chart on her bathroom mirror, and makes a commitment to subsisting on iced tea and steamed broccoli. She resists the temptation to cheat, and slowly, her will power is rewarded: The butterfly emerges from its chrysalis. The pounds melt off, and she is undeniably hot.

But then, sometimes, inexplicably, something goes wrong. Rather than maintaining her new slim, sexy body through marathon training and obsessive calorie counting, a woman will continue to shed pounds, starving herself—dreadfully, heartrendingly—way past the point of hotness.

Reality check, ladies: If your ass resembles your scapula, you are in the danger zone. That kind of thing is not attractive.

It's like I told my ex-girlfriend Lisa: Feminine fragility is a plus, but if I actually snap your arm while having sex with you, you've gone too far. A woman should have a pleasingly light, impossibly fragile appearance, much like a piece of fine china, but if her body has begun digesting the calcium in its bones to sustain its necessary functions, there is a good chance she has starved herself beyond the point where I would even want to have sex with her at all.
Fat on the upper arms, hips, or waist is a turn-off, but there should be a thin matting of fat underneath the skin to prevent a man from being able to make out your skeletal system. A lot of girls don't know this, but slightly rounded, healthy appearing limbs are sexier than rail-thin ones, provided a man can still wrap his hands around your waist. Women like the emaciated thing, but guys actually like it if a girl's upper thigh is a shade wider than her knee.

It's heartbreaking to see a chick who's too anorexic. Don't get me wrong, because a little bit is a plus, but when I see a too-anorexic chick, I always imagine her spending night after night running on her treadmill, trolling the Internet for diet tips, doing stomach crunches in her cubicle, eating head after head of iceberg lettuce—all the while tragically unaware that, at her weight, she could probably be eating 1,000 calories a day. At least 700. Ironically, all her work has left her so crazy skinny, she's as desirable as that fat cow Kate Winslet.

Ladies, if you are suffering from too much anorexia, I urge you, in the name of all that is alluring, increase your calorie consumption by about 10 percent. Treat yourself to a bite of your boyfriend's sandwich. Drink a glass of skim milk. See what happens. You might see your ribs filling out a little, and that might frighten you, but please remember: We men like a woman who's obsessively fit and trim, but no one wants to bang a concentration-camp prisoner.

Harness the power of your misery and poor body image. You've got a good thing going with that.

But just don't go too far.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

All se7en and we'll watch them fall.

...Or the incredible hyperlinked blog post...

7 things that scare me:

  1. Cockroaches and other large bugs.
  2. Heights. (Yes, it sounds like Wahj's list…)
  3. Being ordinary or dying having not achieved greatness.
  4. Horror films. (I know it's supposed to scare you but these often leave long term nightmares that keep me up late at night)
  5. Dark corridors at midnight. (especially in any place I stay in long term)
  6. The sea, either when you can see the bottom and it's a long way away or when you can't see into the water at all.
  7. Sharks.

7 things that I like the most:

  1. Accomplishment.
  2. Helping out.
  3. Dominating. (In games, not *ahem*…)
  4. Writing.
  5. Chillin' with Ondine. (Which she hasn't learned to do yet but is trying her bestest.)
  6. Movies.
  7. Reading.

7 important things in my room:

  1. A good comforter. (Heavy enough to feel snug in and light enough to let in air)
  2. Cell/Mobile phone.
  3. Wallet. (Can't leave home without it)
  4. MP3 player.
  5. Wedding Ring. (When it's there)
  6. Bedside reading. (This varies)
  7. Clover. (My Acer travelmate notebook when she's there)

7 random facts about me:

  1. I cannot sit still after meals unless there's really good conversation going.
  2. I have had the unfortunate incidence (twice) of bugs flying into my mouth. (Once a moth when I was really young and playing Red Indians Native Americans, and an unfortunate fly while biking in Perth)
  3. In the army, because I really had nothing better to do after meals, I used to eat chicken bones. (The whole thing…drumsticks, wings, anything) I still chew on the ends.
  4. I scared a chick to death once. (I was chasing it around a farm and it dropped dead)
  5. I hated cats till I met Ondine.
  6. I have weird fingers.
  7. I was chased by a turkey in the United States. (I was 13 and it was a huge bird)

7 things I plan to do before I die:

  1. Write a book. (Maybe a series of books)
  2. Have kids.
  3. Participate in a gaming tournament.
  4. Watch an NBA game live.
  5. Own a Golden Retriever.
  6. Drive a convertible in a temperate country.
  7. Live somewhere else than here.

7 things I can do:

  1. Play basketball.
  2. Write. (Always have)
  3. Whistle. (I learned to do so a scant 4 years ago)
  4. Shoot virtual players in a game setting.
  5. Get along with people half my age.
  6. Be spontaneous.
  7. Polish off unhealthy amounts of meat.

7 things I can't do:

  1. Anything that involves routine. (Although I like my rituals. I am a contradiction)
  2. Step into a movie when it's started and feel ok about it.
  3. Consistent housework.
  4. Roll my "R"s.
  5. Tolerate stupidity.
  6. Be punctual. (I'm either too early or fashionably horrendously late.)
  7. Say "no" to friends without feeling guilty.

7 things I say the most:

  1. "Uhm".
  2. "Geez". (Soft "g")
  3. "Dang".
  4. "Depends on how you look at it…"
  5. "Shaddup". (Teaching only)
  6. "You see what I mean?"
  7. "Things will look better in the morning."

7 celebrity crushes: (Wow…I was breezing through this meme when I hit this section and I'm kinda stuck…)

  1. Joan Severance. (The first screen goddess that showed me her b******)
  2. Jennifer Love Hewitt. (In her Party of Five days…)
  3. Julie Delpy. (Before Sunrise / Sunset)
  4. Elisha Cuthbert. (In The Girl Next Door)
  5. Angelina Jolie. (Those lips…Ooo…)
  6. Audrey Hepburn. (A classic classy babe)
  7. Courtney Cox. (In her Misfits of Science days)

7 people who could do this:

  1. JL
  2. NNA
  3. Gid Y. (This IS order 66)
  4. Mike W.
  5. Demelong
  6. Di
  7. Da

Friday, September 23, 2005

Isn't it horrible...

...when you spend a night taking photos and it turns out that of the 267 shots you took, almost all of them are crap?

Bleagh. Note to self: When taking a new lens out for a spin, test it out for a day before committing to using it for an event.

...when you've got absolutely nothing to blog about because your brain's fried from all the marking?

...when you leave your kick@$$ gaming mouse in your friends house for over a week and forget how sensitive the thing is?

Wednesday, September 21, 2005



...and the award for scariest looking contraption this year goes to something that I saw in Robinsons' this evening while looking for a "boppy".

*Hint: This was in the infant/maternity section.*

Man, I'm glad I'm not a woman...

Monday, September 19, 2005

Sedition: The Final Holocaust.

It's not that the world has its racists. It's not that some of them are dumb 17 year old kids. It's that the crackdowns are hard and fast and no one questions it. Is it the government's job to crack down on racism? Or should it be the general public that does that? Haven't we matured into a society that views racism as abhorrent? Or are we still handheld to guide us to our own conclusions? Haven't we the common sense to decide what's right or wrong? Perhaps not.

I read Gan's blog sometime ago to see what the big hoo ha was all about after reading about an article being taken off but what I found was a pathetic whiner who had a lot of angst and barely half an argument, much less a convincing one. Was he a threat to national security? I didn't think so. He was just spewing hatred and venting a whole lot of frustration, similar to all the "haters" out there. Was Singapore in danger because of his blog? Nah. I think the danger only began when he was censored off the internet by the powers that be*. The threat was the eradication of both the spirit of free speech (and yes, the responsibility for the consequences of said free speech) and the choice that the denizens of the net had to exercise their own common sense. I think that the greater danger occured when the choice to consume or reject opinion was taken out of our hands. The first/second/third holocaust was only threatening to the masses who were not able to make up their own minds and how is that conformist thinking reinforced? When other people think for us. Is censorship and societal punishment of the guilty the answer to racism? No. What does that serve? It threatens action against racists but it doesn't deal with the problem of discriminatory thinking. I think that at the end of the day, if one reasoned carefully, racism just does not stand. I think that once people start debating and setting their opinions out there, we can stop discriminating. It might be idealistic but discrimination really doesn't make any sense. And I think the solution is something that's been repeated through this paragraph: I think. And the societal punishment of the guilty by our government has taken that away. After all, who were in real danger of blindly following the flawed logic of a 17 year old who wanted to assassinate public figures in some idealised counter-strike fashion? Those who think? Or those who allowed others to think for them?

Interesting question: Is it seditious (snark) to spread homophobia? Is it seditious to undermine the democratic process by silencing the voice of the people? Are people seditious if they do not display the national flag on national day? Are we seditious if we don't capitalise "national day"?

Scary thoughts and a scary time to be a person with opinions now. *Shrug* Me? I'm not too worried. Sedition schmedition. Let's keep talking truth.

*I like ondine's national eraser analogy...but I think there's something even more sinister about giving out an eraser for national day in 1984.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Angry Rant Ahead.

You have been warned.

Firstly: When was the last time that you went to a steamboat place and was forced to pay for the soup?!

Steamboat: $16.80 per head. en
Extra $10 per table for soup. (Unadvertised)
Steamboat for 3 plus drinks: $80

Happy Pay steamboat. Not happily paid.

:O (smiley, read from the side)

Secondly: My bleeding running shoes were not delivered right. That's what happens when you leave students to do the bloody stupid task of running a store when you know they can't even get their own homework done right.

On their ad: Your shoe size should be at least 1 size above your foot size as your foot can expand to 1 foot size larger when exercising. They measure my foot and promptly order a shoe that fits exactly to my foot.

And I was so looking forward to the Terry Fox run this weekend.

XO (smiley, read from the side)

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

To all Firefox users:

Type the following into your address bar:



Katrina and the Tsunami.

Thought it was rather interesting when I heard a news interview with some guy claiming that Hurricane Katrina was "a disaster worse than the 2004 Tsunami." Let's see.

Hurricane Katrina death toll: 279 and counting.
Asian Tsunami 2004: 180,000 and counting.
Tsunami: 1
Katrina: 0

Hurricane Katrina displaces: ~ 100,000
Asian Tsunami displaces: 1.5 million
Tsunami: 2
Katrina: 0

Asian Tsunami was cleaned up by: Multi-lateral effort in spirit of cooperation.
Hurricane Katrina has: George W. Bush.
Tsunami: 2
Katrina: 1

Typical American overstatement? Maybe.
Just like the 911 attacks were a total disaster when people in different countries in the world die every day from terrorist attacks.

It's the kind of overstatement you can afford to make when you've got a big advertising budget to show how badly you've been hit.

Go figure.

Monday, September 12, 2005

What the...?!

  1. Two bloggers charged with racist comments under the sedition law. Sedition?! 1984 anybody? Has Singapore finally started cracking down on Bloggers? Are we in danger of censorship? Or worse, prosecution? Was this a warning shot? Was that the trumpet call to war?
  2. Racist comments. I've been wondering about this. Should the two men been charged with racist comments or should they have been allowed to post their comments? Aren't they entitled to their own opinions? I'm not for discrimination. I've never been. But despite blogs like Stop Gays and Straights and the now defunct the[first][second][third]holocaust, I've never really thought that those blogs should have been taken off. I've always seen it as a byproduct of free speech. For all the Browns, Miyagis, Tyms et al out there, there's always a whole host of idiots as well. The thing about free speech is that you've got to be discerning enough to sort out the wheat from the chaff. And I guess that takes a certain kind of maturity to do so. Unfortunately, it seems like we're not that kind of society. So says the government, so say we all.
  3. On to something else: I saw something on MTV last night. I Want a Famous Face. ... Anybody who wants to see people who are so insecure and unsure about themselves that they need to get massive amounts of plastic surgery, shown in (almost) all their gory glory, should catch this show. It makes one really feel so much better than oneself. Last nights episode featured a girl (quite good looking) who felt that getting plastic surgery to look like Britney Spears and breast implants and blow her up at least 3 cup sizes was the only way that she could overcome her shyness. That's not all. That was only the first part of her grand plan. The second part was that she was going to strip in a gentlemens' club. Well, she got her surgery. Then she realised that she still didn't have the courage to carry out the stripping. So she overcame her shyness by taking nude photos for playboy...with her new (fake looking) double Ds.
  4. A maid. Killed what was termed her best friend. And if the Singapore government's got anything to say about it, she will hang. It's quite sad actually. Would have been better if it were a conspiracy. A whole bunch of cutthroat thugs. A politician hiding a scandalous secret. A CEO of a national charity overhauling a corrupt company. Anything. It's the way that life is on TV. Then the police haul in a mother of two who killed her best friend. And we all return to earth.

Life's funny in some ways. Tragic in others.


Sunday, September 11, 2005


I took a series of shots of a couple of kids playing with a bubble machine at a wedding. Here are my favourite. (To tell you the truth, I spent the whole time actually taking more shots of these kids than of the bride and groom)


Bubble 3

Probably the sweetest little girl I've ever met...


...along with the most rosy cheeked boy.

They had a lot of fun just playing with the bubble machine as it sent bubbles flying sporadically across the stage. Watching them play with such fascination in their young eyes was just magical. There are times when you just want to make the world a better place just for the people you meet.

This was one of them.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Getting Ahead.

Sadly, the gruesome discovery that was made yesterday, instead of being an incident that caused shock and distress, made me think the ridiculous topic of T-shirt slogans that should not be worn down at Orchard yesterday:

1) Got Head?
2) Will give head for [anything]
3) Two heads are better than one
4) A head above the rest
5) Heads up!

The list goes on but you get where I'm going.

Seriously, my theory is that this wasn't a crime of passion. It was calculated to send a message of a sort. The placement of the head (and limbs) in Orchard was too public to an act of desperation.

Shrug. Let's see if I'm right.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Green Carding.

Recent photographs of yourself together, such as in social situations with other people; and on holiday.

Evidence of joint participation in sporting, cultural and other activities.

Two of the stranger requirements for our PR application to Australia. I believe this would be a good time to go "wha...?"

Anyway, I have a feeling that the people in immigration just really get off on archiving all these photographs of happy couples in social situations and holiday. It's like the Department of Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous affairs photo album. Maybe they use flickr. Whatever it is, I guess we'll need to dig up photos that are flattering so we do not end up on the front page of DIMIA's newsletter for odd couples.

What do y'all think evidence of sporting, cultural and other activities means? (No, we're not going to videotape ourselves having sex. Although that would fall under the other activities list. Wonder how they'd handle amateur porn over there. Nyuk.


Monday, September 05, 2005

Rainbow Connections

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

This has always been one of my favourite songs. When I first heard it from the felt lined mouth of a little green muppet, I fell in love with it. (The song, not the little green muppet [no prizes for guessing but who sang the original?]) It was bittersweet and yet spoke of an optimism that I never needed as a child but realised was integral when I became an adult. I never realised the poignancy of the simple 3 verse song till I rewatched The Muppet Movie in 1997 and the understated power of the song choked me up a little. I think it is one of the rare song that stays with you a lifetime because of its message that transcends time and age. (Having a catchy tune helps as well)

I recently heard The Rainbow Connection while talking to K&L about music for their upcoming wedding. They'd found the song sung by Sarah Mclachlan. I was blown completely away. The beauty of Sarah's voice coupled with the poignancy of the lyrics accompanied with strings, a piano and an understated set of drums was an amazing experience. It was a trip back to a childhood memory, revived to continue its journey in my consciousness. It was beautiful and it was nostalgic. And updated, it sounded like a long overdue reunion with a friend. It was wiser. Mature. Deeper. And it had grown with me.


Sunday, September 04, 2005

I don't know what to make of this.

Entrapment? or something that men have coming to them?

On the one hand, there's a part of me that says that the guys that get caught doing this deserve what they get. On the other hand, I don't think that webwhore's intentions are all that altruistic either.

Interesting use of a blog though.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Of Katrina, George and other stuff.

Hurricane Katrina’s hit New Orleans. Land of Gumbo and other interesting things. The city is flooded. There’s raping and pillaging. The Mayor of New Orleans is ready to declare independence from the United States because of the bang up job that Dubya’s been doing. All this time, I’m wondering all of two things.

Firstly: The Asian Tsunami brought out some of the best in people. People banded together and helped out. They took care of each other and in Indonesia and other developing countries, there were no widespread reports of chaos, anarchy and raping / pillaging. Why then is there such devastation in 1 city of the pinnacle of civilization when a hurricane hits it? And the devastation’s not by natural forces either. It’s by the people of said civilized nation. I think that what’s happened in New Orleans is bad enough. What makes this a tragedy is the fact that this brought out the worst in people.

Secondly: George W. Bush. Elected. Twice. Look on this disaster and ask yourself how that happened. Katrina struck and he hesitated to end his holiday. (erm…do presidents get holidays by the way?) He’s back in office and who does he call? Daddy, and a former president from the opposing camp! (This isn’t the first time that Junior’s done so by the way, daddy or Clinton) What the heck were Americans thinking in 2004? The travesty! How incompetent do you have to be when you need to get former presidents back to help you run the country? Isn’t the PotUS supposed to have a cabinet of able minded men and women helping him do that? Isn’t the most powerful man in the world supposed to have a plan? According to the news, Katrina was anticipated but never acted upon. What happened? Did Dubya decide that Katrina sounded like a kindly aunt coming to visit? Was he more concerned over dealing with questions about Iraq from his heckler / stalker? Did he decide that there wasn’t enough of a budget to deal with both Iraq and domestic issues?
To borrow a phrase from Robert Rankin, “What a complete gormster.”

Presently, the National Guard is in New Orleans with “shoot to kill” orders. (And we know how well that usually turns out)

Oil prices hit USD$70.85 a barrel. Where are the cars of the future? The hybrids? The fuel cells?

On other (more mundane…well, absolutely mundane and nonsensical compared to the devastation of the little hurricane who could) news, Teachers’ Day has just passed and I have got to show for it:

1. A die cast B-52 bomber from M.L.
2. A little balloon tulip that looks like a cross between a mini-sausage roll and a blue condom.
3. A little cushion from Y.Y.R. (Who I swear will probably kill me someday in a twisted manner involving much torture)
4. A bottle of authentic French lemonade from my crazy class. (Cool glass bottle with stopper)
5. A pillow from Aussino, courtesy of my form class.
6. Chocolates, biscuits and brownies. (Touched that I got a packet of biscuits from ye olde OM team, Thanks guys)
7. Many cards.

Yes, Teachers’ Day has come and gone and I have the spoils to prove it. I have also:

1. Cleared the hurdle of presenting a “new teacher” item during staff dinner. (To my credit, I think that our batch of teachers drew the most laughter and praise from the audience with our spot-on portrayal of student types, Thank you thank you. [Cranium enlarging…])
2. Finished the fact sheets for the school.
3. Almost completed my batch of marking for the prelims.

It’s been a good week. Stressful but good. By Wednesday (the day of the presentation) I was ready to go postal. (Good thing for strict gun control laws in Singapore) By Friday, I was severely lacking in sleep and painfully aware that I had neglected my Blog. But Saturday’s here and I’m vindicated. My efforts have been appreciated and I am ready to sleep.

Meanwhile, let's drop a prayer for New Orleans