Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Well, this is bad on so many levels...

Sam follows Mallory into the HALLWAY.

MALLORY
Hi.

SAM
How ya doin'?

MALLORY
I'm sorry to be rude, but are you a moron?

SAM
In this particular area, yes.

MALLORY
The 18th President was Ulysses S. Grant, and the Roosevelt Room was named
for Theodore.

SAM
Really?

MALLORY
There's like a six-foot painting on the wall of Teddy Roosevelt.

SAM
I should've put two and two together.

MALLORY
Yes.

SAM
Look, the thing is, while there are really a great many things I can speak with
authority, I'm not good at talking about the White House.

MALLORY
You're the White House Deputy Communications Director and you're not good
at talking about the White House?

SAM
Ironic, isn't it?

MALLORY
I don't believe this. [starts to go back into the room, but Sam stops her]

SAM
Wait a minute. Wait. Please. Could you do me favor? Could you tell me which
one of those kids is Leo McGarry's daughter?

MALLORY
Why?

SAM
Well, if I could make eye contact with her, make her laugh, you know, just
see that she has a good time, it might go a long way toward making my life easier.

MALLORY
These children worked hard. All of them. And I'm not inclined at this moment
to make your life easier.

SAM
Ms. O'Brian, I understand your feelings, but please believe me when I tell
you that I'm a nice guy having a bad day. I just found out the Times is publishing
a poll that says a considerable portion of Americans feel that the White House
has lost energy and focus. A perception that's not likely to be altered by the
video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. As we speak, the Coast
Guard are fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean while the Governor of Florida wants to
blockade the Port of Miami. A good friend of mine's about to get fired for
going on television and making sense, and it turns out I accidentally slept with
a prostitute last night. Now. Would you please, in the name of compassion, tell me which
one of those kids is my boss's daughter.

MALLORY
That would be me.

SAM
You.

MALLORY
Yes.

SAM
Leo's daughter's fourth grade class.

MALLORY
Yes.

SAM
[pause] Well, this is bad on so many levels.

Labels: ,