Tuesday, April 06, 2004


It's been five years and two days now.
The blog's been empty because I've been quite busy with a whole lot of stuff that I really didn't want to do and the things that I did, I didn't manage to do.
O well.

Five years ago, I was a confused mess.
I believe that I was under the sad delusion that going away and giving myself time to think would be a great idea...I decided to exile myself to Frankston to figure out what exactly I had gotten myself into. I had just gotten into a relationship with a goddess and I was at a loss. I hadn't quite thought that far yet and I was also confused by mixed signals. Long story.
I was out there by myself after taking a LONG train ride and I was sapped. I sat by the beach after looking for accomodation and then, not finding any that suited my budget, I found that beach. I sat there for a while, sketching a little. What exactly, I did not know...but I did...Scribbled some thoughts into my notebook and then bid a hasty retreat back to civilisation and into the arms of the woman I eventually married.
These 5 years haven't all been a picnic, I can say for sure. But I did learn a whole lot. I learned that relationships had their ups and downs and those downs did seem all the more overwhelming because I had never actually had many downs that I've come back from. I learned that being with someone meant exactly that. It wasn't about living separate lives and then coming together every once in a while.
It was about sharing a life together and that threw me for a loop. Suddenly I wasn't someone who had someone else somewhere else. I was there. I was living it. And it hurt and it healed and it was all these things that I never experienced before. I felt. And that was amazing.
It's been five years and in some ways, it's been the hardest 5 years ever. But then I think about it and I wouldn't have it any other way.
And that's the easiest thing in the world.
I love you.


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