Friday, April 28, 2006


What are the odds that a ruling party will relinquish power if they lose the majority in an election?

What lengths will they go through to maintain that power and what will that reveal about their politics?

How can one find the answers to the question?

VOTE: (Since we all like acronyms so much) Vote O_________ Through Elections.

I have never been a supporter of the Proud. Arrogance was always a big no no for me and, as far as I'm concerned, should have no place in biased Politics, especially when one side is so overpowering that it can use lawsuits and the courts (who were always in their favour) to pound their Opposition into submission. It's almost like watching a cat and mouse game where the cats have napalm.

What I have supported is the underdog, or mouse if you will, and so I was a little disappointed when I realised that I wouldn't be able to vote this time around. Thankful, because it means that I wouldn't have to waste an entire day on elections that don't matter anyway, but disappointed as a political dissident.

I'm not going to wax lyrical about how we should vote opp just because the PAP's been overly obvious with tilting (and this would be a euphemism) the political playing field in their favour because despite my reservations, they've been doing a fine job in Singapore so far. But I think that we the people should send out a strong message, since we're being all serious about elections here, that we will not tolerate any bullying in our elections either. Let's tell the powers that be that they will not hold the threat of non-upgrading over our heads to coerce our vote and let's shout out that they will not buy our vote with money from the government coffers. (Which was our money to begin with...) Let's tell them that the farce of free politics actually means something to some people and that just because the other guys are called the opposition, they are not opposing us as a nation and that shutting them up will cause nothing but resentment and further apathy from a nation whose political muscle (the brain) is atrophising from lack of use.

In other words, let the PAP argue their case on their merits. Don't let them use fallacies to win your vote. Force them to argue with the opposition and give your vote to the more convincing man (or woman as may be the case). Let us see if we can have a good, clean fight and let's make this a 12 round decision instead of an instant KO from the start. Let the ruling party quake in their shoes a little so that they learn a little humility and then let's go vote...

Now, let's get ready to rummmmble!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

O, baby...

This is the inner geek in all geeks.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Clerks 2.

So apparently Kevin Smith's recanted and he's coming out with the next Askewniverse movie. Clerks 2 will be hitting the theaters this August and I am looking forward to it.

Meanwhile, the annual May bumper crop of movies is here again kicking off with MI:3 , followed closely by Poseiden and The Da Vinci Code and finally the piece de resistance X-Men: The Last Stand.

Yes. Summer is here again and finally it's safe to return to the cinemas. I like May. It's a good time to be a movie buff.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Pet Peeve Day.

Saying of the day:

To lose an ability, you need to have had the ability to begin with

Now, if only it were true.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Absolut MACsochists

It's amazing what people can get you to do with a slick advertising campaign and a flair for beautiful designs.

W put it rather succinctly (and I quote him completely out of context): Apple can make you buy anything. It can take an MP3 player, remove the functionality of the LCD screen and make it seem like they just reinvented sliced bread. Their selling point? It's unpredictable and thus cool.
I've come to appreciate the Mac Marketing Machine for the sheer genius of their spin doctors. To illustrate, let's put up the following arguments that have been whitewashed and completely retconned by said machine:

  1. Powerpc's are vastly superior to Intel.
  2. There will never be a need for video on an iPod because people will never want to view videos on such small screens.
  3. Mac OS's are vastly superior to Windows. A Mac will never boot windows.
  4. Macs will never need a two button mouse. One is enough.
Hmmm...3 arguments. 180 degree turns. And yet, despite the initial outcry of Macheads wailing and screaming, we now have the the brainwashed masses echoing the Mac Marketing Machine:

  1. Intels on Macs (Hereby known as Mintels) surpass the processing power of Powerpc's...the production of which is so archaic that they've come up with no architectural reforms for yonks.
  2. Video is the new audio on iPods. Video Podcasts are the r0xx0rz.
  3. Boot camp's going to create a bridge for Windows users to move over to the Mac.
  4. Behold, the Mighty Mouse!
The 3rd point's the one that I have most issue with. If Windows users are moving over to Macs because Windows now boots on Mac machines, why don't they just buy a cheaper Wintel?!

It boggles the mind. If I'm comfortable with Windows to work on my stuff and if moving over to a Mac because it boots Windows means that I'll be using Windows predominantly on the machine (I can't even call it a Mac anymore...[Looks like a Mac, sounds like a Wintel and works like a hybrid]) why am I paying more for the little pretty apple casing? Who does Boot Camp actually appeal to? Not I. I'm going for the cheaper Wintel system. The only people that are really going to buy into this technology are going to be Macheads who can't play games on their systems.

Let's just drop this in:
Macbook Pro:
15.4-Inch TFT display with 1440x900 resolution
2.0 Ghz Intel Core Duo with 2MB shared L2 Cache
667Mhz FSB
1 GB 667Mhz DDR2 SDRAM
100GB 5400rpm Serial ATA HDD
Slot Loading Superdrive (DVD+-RW)
ATI Mobility 1600 with 256 GDDR3 RAM

Total cost: $4588

Acer 8204:
15.4-Inch TFT display with 1680x1050 resolution
2.0 Ghz Intel Dual Core Processor with 2MB shared L2 Cache
667Mhz FSB
100GB 5400rpm Serial ATA HDD with Anti Shock protection
DVD RW Multi format drive
ATI Mobility 1600 with 512 MB Hypermemory

Total cost: $3998

It's the same machine that I'm going to be using Windows on and it costs $600 less...Hmm...which to choose?

Somehow or another, Mac's been able to effectively do what the Singapore government's been doing all this time. Here's what I mean:

Step 1: Listen to what the people want improved.
Step 2: Tell them that they're better off without the improvements that they are suggesting.
Step 3: Announce that you are (innovatively) coming out with new ideas.
Step 4: Implement improvements that you came out with. (Which coincidentally are similar to the ideas that the people have been suggesting)
Step 5: Sell the idea back to the people in a pretty package for a big fat profit.

It's pure genius...And despite the many betrayals by the powers that be, the people keep coming back for more. It's almost like watching lemmings getting flayed.

"What a mindjob." ~ Cypher. The Matrix

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


April 19, 2006
JC student kills himself, convinced his private parts were too small
Suicide highlights importance of sex education in schools, says coroner
By Stephanie Yap

HE WAS a second-year student at a top junior college, a member of the school volleyball team, a 'cheerful and energetic' boy who was doing well enough in his studies to take Special Papers.

Yet on March 3 this year, the 18-year-old jumped to his death from a Bedok housing block, because he was convinced his private parts were too small.

Delivering a verdict of suicide yesterday, State Coroner Tan Boon Heng was sufficiently concerned by this 'tragedy of misinformation' to recommend that the case be forwarded to the Ministry of Education (MOE).

'The importance of sex education to our young people in schools cannot be over- emphasised,' he wrote.

'The case study is useful for relevant MOE officers to appreciate the problem of the severity of misinformation even among the best and brightest in our schools.'

The boy, who cannot be named, had confided in his mother in October last year that he was worried his private parts were too small.

She took him to a neighbourhood clinic, where the doctor told him his penis was of a normal size for an Asian man, and prescribed him multivitamins.

Despite strong emotional support from his girlfriend and his mother, he remained convinced he had a problem. He also had a history of being stressed over schoolwork.

In January this year, he told his mother that his life was 'boring and meaningless' and that the only thing stopping him from suicide was his family's love.

On March 3, after his usual volleyball practice, he took a bus from school to the Bedok interchange, but did not take his usual connecting bus home. When his sister sent him a text message at around 7pm to ask if he was coming home for dinner, he replied that he would eat out.

The next and final message she received from him was at 8pm, telling her and their mother to take care.

They realised something was wrong, but he repeatedly failed to answer his phone.

He jumped from a housing block near the Bedok bus interchange at around 8.30pm.

He was semi-conscious when he was taken to Changi General Hospital, but was pronounced dead at 10.40pm from multiple injuries.

In his suicide note, written in a notebook he had bought 40 minutes before his death, he apologised to his girlfriend and his family for killing himself.

'He said it was not due to the stress of his examination, but it was more about his physical development...He still knew there was something wrong with his body parts,' the investigation report said.

In his judgment, State Coroner Tan said the boy's death showed that even intelligent young people can be victims of misinformation.

'While we are the beneficiaries of this Internet age that hails an era of information and knowledge enriching our lives, the less-informed also become victims to junk information and worse, untruths,' he said.

'The deceased was so tormented by his unfounded (belief in his) inadequacy that it drove him to end his life.'

The case highlighted the importance of sexuality education, both in and out of school, he said.

'It may have helped if the deceased had the benefit of counselling now widely available. If parents are aware of their children being tormented in this way, they should seek professional help lest such tragic deaths should happen again.'

Sex education, usually termed sexuality education, usually takes the form of a short series of lessons.

One secondary school teacher with five years' experience told The Straits Times that at his school, sex education covers three periods a week for three weeks.

Students write reflection logs on topics like boy-girl relationships, different levels of intimacy, as well as legal issues.

However, he said teaching students how to be comfortable with their physical and sexual development is not in the syllabus.

'But this is something that should be looked into because it is definitely part of the students' development,' he said.

Guess there's something wrong with a child's education if he / she kills him/ her self over a matter as trivial as a "small body part". What would cause a kid to go to such extreme measures because of all this? It seems to boggle the mind.

But then again, it's pretty telling when there are students who believe that because they're struck in the jewels by a water bomb, they are permanently damaged and suddenly emasculated. Who tells them these lies? Well...Not us, say the teachers.

Parents. Peers. Privates?

I have to make a confession. When I heard about this story being in the Straits Times, the mocking / uncontrollable laughter began and did not stop for 30 minutes. It's a tragedy akin to a man who falls into a vat of hot rubber and is removed with a perfect full body condom moulded onto him. Or a person who slips and falls on a banana peel and gets hit by a truck carrying rubber chickens. Black comedy at its best. It's Schadenfreude.

I mean let's put aside the indignity of committing suicide over the little things (sorry...) instead of "grander" notions of love (dumb reason), studies (dumber reason) and the fact that you have cancer and you really want to shape your death your way (relatively acceptable reason). Why the heck would your own mother ensure that you suffer (posthumously) the indignity of being known as the boy who died because he felt his penis wasn't large enough? The confidant was the national press...And this would be where I would simply defer to the use of acronyms: OMGWTFGG...Why would you tell the national press that THAT was why your kid killed himself? *Smacks forehead* I mean, imagine the consequences:

  1. The unfortunate girlfriend was probably hit with a deluge of SMSes that read: "Was he really that small?
  2. No one would be able to keep a straight face when eulogising the poor boy. "Yes, he was a brilliant student who worked hard and kept his eye on the big picture...but at the same time, he was also concerned about the little things in life..."
I'm going to make it official. If I ever kill myself over something as trivial as that, the official reason would be this:

"I am tired of the lies of the world. The hypocrisy and the stupidity of mankind and I seek a higher plane of existance. I wish to cut away my mortal / moral coil and free myself from suffering in this flawed and uncompassionate world."

Which sounds better than:

"I have erectile insecurities. There's no reason to live."

All that said, I blame porn and the neverending stream of junk e-mails that tout an increase in size of certain unnamed body parts. Meds. Enlargers. Herbs. Bleagh. Lies that make kids believe that they have to have penises that hang halfway down their thighs before being able to function sexually: Porn without parental supervision. (Then again, porn women have breasts like watermelons and that's a whole other over-expectation that you porn-addicts will have to learn to live with. And lest ye women decide to go get implants, note: gravity works and watermelons that look good now will be watermelons that hang down to your knees in 20 years time...) Meanwhile I suspect that I'm going to have to craft a lesson on how it's totally unnatural to be hung like a horse and that it's not the size that matters, but what you do with it. I can just imagine it:

/me whips out 15cm ruler.
"Now just try not to laugh..."

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

When Movie Reviewers Go Bad

You know a "movie reviewer" (for a certain radio station which claims to be Singapore's favourite radio station) has not done her homework when she mixes up synopses of 2 similar British movies so badly that a layman (who hadn't watched the movies in question) can identify the mix up instantaneously.

Let's see: It goes a little something like this:

Keeping Mum is a movie about a supernatural nanny who helps out a family that's disintegrating.

Apparently someone hasn't been watching all the movies that she's been recommending.

So let's just do her job for her.

Keeping Mum is a movie about a psychotic housekeeper who helps out a family that's disintegrating.

Thank you.

I'd like my $5 now.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Pain and Heartache... when you spend almost 2 hours getting through an instance and lagging out just 2 enemies before you can get your hands on this. It was a long grind through Razorfen Downs with a nice group that knew what to do (tanks were tanking, druids were healing and I was just dishing out the pain) and we were, quite literally, 10 minutes to the end of the instance when I suddenly had a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I watched a character turn in place (just circling round and round) and I had no input whatsoever from any of my commands. That usually meant that my connection was completely and utterly @#$%ed and I would just stay there till I got disconnected from the server.

It felt like a kick to the groin...

...5 minutes of watching our druid pirouette in place and I got DCed...

Needless to say that the group forged ahead and killed the boss and did so just before I managed to connect again.

The connection lasted just long enough for me to see them celebrating over the corpse. It's times like this when I wonder why, despite our supposed technological supremecy, we are still stuck with ADSL that goes only up to 512kbps...


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Take the teeth too why don't you?

Let's see...

You've brought your rottweiler to a dogfight. You haven't exactly leashed it or forced it to come with you but you've beaten enough sense into the dog so that it barks and bites on command. Your opponent's got a ferret in his corner because you've outlawed dogs from dogfights. Not that your rottweiler's YOUR dog per se because you can't help it that it is, effectively, your bitch.

One look at the ferret and you say, "Hey, that's not a dog. No go!"

Your opponent is now dogless and ferretless.

Then you proceed to trounce your competition because you've got the only dog in the ring. After the victory, you shake your opponent's hand and congratulate him on a fight well fought.

Let's pose a question to the viewer:

"Is that fair?"