29 on the cusp of cynical.

One of my kids asked of me this:

"Do you see nothing optimistically?"

I was actually quipping about the rather sinister nature of the lyrics of "Santa Claus is coming to town" and I was rather taken aback about it. Then I thought about all the stuff I'd been talking to my classes about and I realised that deep down inside, I've gotten cynical and rather pessimistic. I guess that all these years of working under a government as a civil servant tends to bring out the worst in me and I guess that it also fuels the fire to fight the system. I blame the Aussie education as well as my career choice. I mean, having spent the formative years of my life in a country that prides itself on being anti-establishment and then returning to my draconian totalitarian one party state and then joining the civil service of all jobs, one really can't choose a quicker route to cynicism than that.

I wanted to retort that I actually am an optimist. If I weren't I wouldn't be fighting so hard to change points of view. If I weren't I wouldn't be trying to liberate the minds of the few (in my own little way) to make them see the truth. If I weren't I wouldn't be a patriot. (OK...you can stop laughing now)

As I head into my 31st year, having accomplished so little in my life (didn't even bother to fill in a things to do before 30 list) I intend to do a whole lot better.

Optimistically speaking that is...