Songs that I would like to Bitchslap if they were people...

If You're Not The One (Daniel Bedingfield)

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?

Ugh...could this BE more saccharine? If this song were a man, he would be someone's bitch because he doesn't even have enough self respect to call it quits when it's over. The song makes me want to kick Daniel Beddingfield inna nuts to give the man some dignity...Speaking of nuts, when DB actually hits the high note with his falsetto, you suddenly realise why he's written a song like that...the man's been emasculated.

The bolded lyrics are the worst parts of it. Convincing someone through emotional blackmail? O man, what's the point? She's gone, let it rest. Geez...this is a guy who'll end up on the wrong side of a frying pan when his girl finally has enough of his whining. How pathetic could you get?

Well, I'll just end this post with an announcement,

"Has anyone seen Mr Beddingfield's balls?"