You're in the army when...

1) It takes 1 whole day to do 3 things (Specifically briefing, briefing and the handing out of passes) and you manage to do 2 out of the three things.
2) You spend the good part of the afternoon sleeping on a foam mattress that you have to fold in half to avoid putting your head on a pillow that's so yellow, it's brown.
3) You get pushed around taichi style in order to get your kit and the people aiding you complain that someone in the other department really screwed up.
4) Food gets dumped on your plate with an unceremonious splat.
5) You put on your uniform and it imbues you with the power to sleep anywhere at anytime.
6) You carry enough crap to clothe the entire platoon and then you're told that it's not a stay-in thing despite being told that it was.
7) You spend the better part of the morning sitting in an air-conditioned room in the 2nd row and realise that you're a corporal sitting in the midst of officers. (OK...that's just me)
8) The English standard drops by 2 notches and you start losing higher order brain functions.
9) Nobody knows where you're supposed to be...not even the clerk with the computer.
10) You have the 2 o'clock briefing at 5:30 pm.