Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Bend over and take it like a man...

...was what I was thinking as I got my jabs for reservist coming in September. (3 to be exact.) I am now vaccinated against Polio, Typhoid, Tetanus and the Flu.

re: The title of the post, of the three jabs, one ended up on my left arm. Here's a clue, my right arm did NOT get jabbed.

The other 2 shots (after a relatively painless Typhoid shot on my left arm) were in a small room in the SMC. (Seletar base Medical Center) The dialogue went something like this: (all those with delicate constitutions may wish to avert their eyes.)

Medic 1: "Pull down your pants and underwear and place your hands on the bed."
Me: "You've got to be kidding"
/me pulls down pants and underwear...
/me = much shrinkage due to the two needles that I see brandished before me...
Medic 1: "Bend over and put your hands on the bed."
/me thinks that it sounds suspiciously like a bad prison movie.
/me bends over.
Medic 1: "You will feel a little prick."
/me thinks this sounds suspiciously like a bad prison PORNO movie.
/medics 1 & 2 plunges needles into both butt cheeks.
/me thinks that this is suspisciously like a bad prison porno movie WITH DOUBLE PENETRATION.

Well...all that said, it wasn't as bad as it was in my head as I was looking despondantly at the slip that said I needed 4 vaccinations and freaking out about needles.

My phobia about said needles, I think, can be traced back to the primary school nurse who told me that if I strained my arm too hard, the needle'd break off in my arm and I would need to get an amputation...In primary 4, I once ran from the nurse who was trying to give me a jab starting a wild chase around the little room...If you can imagine the scenario, I was running from a grown woman who was wielding a syringe. It's the stuff of nightmares (mine anyway).

Anyway, I didn't actually try to make a break for it (despite my flight or fight response kicking in sometime before the first jab and the during the second and third) and was reasonably peaceable(even bovine)-like through my 3 jabs. Today, only my butt is sore. Right cheek only.

Later. :)


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